The Wall

I can't remember if I've ever talked about this.

Back in school, I used to have bouts of anti-social-ness and melancholy, I suppose would be the best way to term it. It was usually characterized by a desire to not do anything, not speak to anyone, and just curl up under the blanket in bed and hide a little bit. It led to lots of questions after my health and responses of "I'm just tired." It was always weird, because the rest of the time, I was happy, and smiling and social and positive (mostly, haha) and then all of the sudden it was like I had been running and hit a wall, and everything caught up with me. Things I didn't even know I had been running from. Not big things, just more like I wasn't letting myself mix emotions until the negative ones overflowed and they were all I had for a day or two, then it was back to running.

It's been a really long time since I've hit this wall. But for some reason, I hit it today. While at work. So I put "Super Troupers" by ABBA on repeat and chugged through a huge stack of paperwork. And went to the gym. And have now sat on the couch and watched TV and only semi wreaked havoc on my good eating and gym trip today. I think it's hitting me more than it might've in the past because it's been so long, and it's the first time in this place, with these people.

I'm not sure why I am sharing this, haha. Just because it sucks, I guess. And it's lame that it hit. Especially when I am so excited about where (hopefully) my life is going, at least, you know, with the whole working out thing.

Le. Sigh.